Date of airing: February 10, 1996 (FOX Kids)
written by: Mark Hoffmeier, Stan Berkowitz, John Semper
directed by: Bob Richardson
This episode was freaking hilarious. It had too many villains (kind of like THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2) and too many action sequences, but the overload of action and characters was what made these 20 minutes so funny. Everyone was fighting against everybody, women continued to get kidnapped for no apparent reason, and in the middle of it all, there was Spider-Man, as confused about what was happening as I was. You could have filled a two-hour movie with the tablet of time storyline and all the “You kidnapped my love, I kidnap your love” back-and-forth, and critics would have still lambasted the movie, being filled with too much of everything while not having enough when it concerns the characters.
But for some reason, it was fun as heck to see Spider-Man trying to do something about his love life by going on a date with Alisa (he decided that while in the middle of a fight against pretty much everyone, as if he would have time to go on a date), witnessing her getting kidnapped, and then trying to rescue her, just to get shot at and kidnapped himself. By her! Never trust a woman, Spider-Man.
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| Taking a cement bath should be the end of Spider-Man. |
But yeah, the episode really was confusing. Silvermane and his goons were after the tablet, Kingpin and his goons were after the tablet, and Spider-Man just wanted to save all the women that were kidnapped in the process. I guess that is the summary of the episode, because anything else would make you go “huh?” And it is a bit of a shame that the writers did not go into the premise of Spider-Man being fooled by his potential date at all. There could have been an interesting storyline regarding Peter and a woman of his choosing, where the woman turned out to be related to one of the villains he was fighting currently. The episode went into this for a second or two, right after Spider-Man realized that Alisa was Silvermane’s daughter, but I have no idea what Alisa was thinking and if she just wanted to live a life outside of crime for an evening. I guess she really just wanted to go on a date with Peter, and she decided to do that while all this crap was going on. Then again, maybe the date was supposed to be her alibi. She and Hammerhead had the phone conversation that made me believe it, but it looks like Kingpin’s goons were putting a few dents in her evening plans.
In the middle of the episode, there was this fight sequence involving three different parties, and even I did not know what was going on because I did not know who was fighting whom. It was obvious that Spider-Man just wanted to help while everyone wanted to kill Spider-Man, but there were too many rockets flying at one point (from both the Megaslayer and Tombstone’s rocket launcher), and I could not make out who the rockets were supposed to hit. Yet it was fun, because the writers managed to bring a ton of characters into that fight and make it feel more epic. Realistically speaking, some should have died with all the explosions and violence going on, but let’s not forget that this is a children’s animated series – characters were not allowed to be killed off that way.
But seriously, some should have seen the light leading to the
afterlife, especially when the fight was relocated to Silvermane’s
hideout. At least the action turned out to be forgettable during the
last few minutes (which means I did not need to ask myself why no one was
dying), as Silvermane decided to get younger. First of all, how creepy
is it to have a father who is biologically younger than you? Secondly,
how hilarious was it that Silvermane Benjamin Buttoned into an infant,
and that his daughter Alisa had to carry her father away? Is Alisa her
father’s mother now? Kind of a hilarious thought. Talk about a literal definition of "baby daddy."
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| Alisa has a baby daddy now. |
Meanwhile, Vanessa disappeared, and all of a sudden the show created
another interesting storyline. I hope Kingpin will be involved in the
series for a little while longer, because I would love to know where the
writers were going with Vanessa’s decision to separate from Kingpin and
get away from his continued criming in New York City. At least one of
the kidnapped women realized that this life was too dangerous for them
and they decided to make like a tree and get out of there. I hope she is safe and does not turn up suffering her past like the Vanessas of the alternate realities in SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE, having to witness the return of the most evil person in their lives.
